Giuliani Bags Presidential Medal Of Incest—Family Reunion Goals!
In a ceremony dripping with irony this Tuesday at the White House, Rudy Giuliani—the ex-New York City mayor infamous for many reasons but notably for marrying his cousin—was awarded the Presidential Medal of Incest. The award, apparently a 'generational' honor for promoting amorous family ties, was handed out with all the gravitas one might reserve for, say, a Nobel Prize or a patent office hiccup. The ceremony recognized Rudy as 'a great American patriot,' who inspires bravery to reframe family dinners as potential matrimonial opportunities. Even The Onion couldn’t resist tagging this as peak political family reunions.
Share the Story
Only Rudy Giuliani could turn marrying a cousin into a presidential medal moment. If nepotism was an Olympic sport, he’d be the gold medalist with a side of family tree confusion.
Imagine a world where cousin marriage earns medals instead of side-eye. Well, Rudy’s living proof that Washington rewards all sorts of family values.
Rudy Giuliani adding 'President of Incest' to his CV really puts the 'kin' in dysfunctional politics. One small step for mankind, one giant leap for awkward family reunions.
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/2/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
More Articles in Politics
America Adds 50,000 Jobs, But Those 70,000 Stayed Home for Holidays
USS Gerald R. Ford Saves Day By 'Apprehending' Another Wobbly Tanker
Chinese Crackdowns Cut US Fentanyl Supply, Trump Declares Pills Weapons of Mass Destruction
Democrats Debate Ousting DHS Chief as Congress Suddenly Loves Impeachment Again
Trump Turns US Oil Boom into Venezuela Baton for Global Power Walk
Congress Trades Shouting Match Over ICE Shooting Like A Twin Cities Soap Opera
Republicans Suddenly Love Invasions Now That Maduro's Captured Like A Limited-Edition Funko Pop
UK Warns Future PM Might Just Be Kremlin's Favorite Karaoke Partner
