GOP’s Epic Embarrassment Hour: Forget Epstein, Spill Tea!
On a Tuesday as thrilling as a root canal, GOP lawmakers brilliantly sidestepped the Epstein files fiasco by turning the House floor into 'America’s Funniest Congressional Fails.' Starting with an unnamed congressman, each brave lawmaker aired their most humiliating moments instead of tackling political scandal. Media firestorms expected to last through several news cycles eagerly cheered as embarrassing stories like 'mistaken greetings' and 'wardrobe malfunctions' flowed freely, dazzling Americans starving for distraction. The timing was impeccable—because who doesn’t prefer personal cringe over international intrigue? The Onion perfectly captured this historic dodge in an article that made delay tactics an art form.
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When the GOP’s fix for Epstein drama is sharing awkward blunders, you know democracy’s new motto is ‘Please Forget What Really Matters.’
Congressional embarrassment marathons: the freshest distraction no one asked for from America’s least prepared multi-taskers.
Reminder: if a top scandal is global and severe, solve it by airing your sock-puppet collection mishaps instead.
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/23/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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