Putin’s Thousand-Year Coal Plan vs. Ukraine’s Drone Party Crashers
In the fuel fiasco sequel no one asked for, Ukraine’s drone attacks on 10 Russian oil refineries have torched 17% of Russia’s refining power — that’s 1.1 million barrels of drama per day, leaving Vladivostok drivers grooving in gas lines longer than their summer road trip playlists. Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin, speaking at Vladivostok’s Eastern Economic Forum, pitches coal like it’s the new Bitcoin—promising 900 years of smoky, ancient rock to fix the chaos. Russia’s Rosneft profit plunged 68% in H1 2025, budgets are bleeding rubles like a leaky vodka bottle, and mobile blackouts are canceling Uber rides and online payments, sending everyone straight back to the cash caveman era. The Kremlin’s energy grid might not survive autumn’s heating bills or agriculture demands, but hey—at least the coal can last a millennium!
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Russia's fuel crisis: Putin's masterplan is coal, because why solve 21st century energy problems with 20th century tech when you can go full medieval on us? Bonus: mobile blackouts mean your food delivery might get drone-attacked or vanish entirely.
Putin claims 900 years of coal reserves while Ukrainians run drone strikes like an energy-themed prank war. Meanwhile, Russian drivers wait in fuel lines that feel longer than their winter without Netflix.
When your oil refineries get drone-smacked and Netflix disappears with mobile blackouts, the only reasonable solution is to unleash coal like it's the phoenix of Putin’s energy vision.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 9/8/2025 | Author: Huileng Tan
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