Federal Agents Play Hide-And-Seek With Guns, Accidentally Shoot People
KEY POINTS
- •Since early December, federal agents including ICE, Customs and Border Protection, and Homeland Security have been detaining people at public places in various cities.
- •A 10-year veteran ICE agent killed a US citizen in Minneapolis one day before two people were shot by federal agents in Portland.
- •The federal officers, sometimes masked and armed, have violently confronted undocumented immigrants, US citizens, advocates, and protestors.
In a shocking plot twist thicker than a budget spy novel, since early December, ICE, Customs and Border Protection, and Homeland Security officers—often sporting rifles and masks Nikon would envy—have been storming gyms, hardware stores, schools, and homes in Portland and beyond like Black Friday shoppers on steroids. This comes just one day after an ICE agent, freshly certified as a 10-year law enforcement veteran, fatally shot a US citizen in Minneapolis, proving once again that if you wanted violent poor planning wrapped in shiny badges, you found your gang. Meanwhile, Trump’s latest flex claimed his 'morality is the only thing that can stop me,' which so far, appears about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Advocates, protestors, and innocent bystanders—undocumented and citizen alike—have learned that federal agents think law enforcement means spontaneous tackling tours, not conversations.
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Mask up, rifle ready: Federal agents turn Portland gyms and hardware stores into impromptu WWE rings. Citizenship status now just a suggestion.
Nothing says American heritage like government agents ambushing you buying drill bits or lifting weights—hone that patriotism!
When your local hardware store becomes the front line in Homeland Security’s latest 'grab-a-thon,' you know it’s officially dystopian.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 1/9/2026 | Author: Cecilia Nowell (now);Shrai Popat, Marina Dunbar and Tom Ambrose (earlier)
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