Trump’s Great War Reboot: Defense Dept. Now Offensive Dept.
In a move that feels more like a badly scripted remake, Donald Trump announced plans to rename the Defense Department the War Department — apparently because subtlety ate the last missile. This blockbuster rebrand is Trump’s latest cameo in Washington, set to add confusion to already chaotic government acronyms. No official release date yet, but rumor has it it’s happening before lunch or maybe during a Twitter break. Critics wonder if the Pentagon will start editing history to ‘War’ and drop peace talks from the script. It’s a name change so nostalgic, it feels like VHS in the age of streaming.
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Trump wants to rename the Defense Department the War Department because why settle for diplomacy when you can sound like a 1940s action serial? We’re all terrible drivers of our own lives, but hey, at least the government keeps crashing into new potholes.
Changing a name from Defense to War is like renaming your drama club 'Fight Club' and wondering why no one signs up.
This rebrand screams 'We’re stuck in reruns' louder than your uncle quoting Cold War insults at Thanksgiving.
Source: Politico | Published: 9/5/2025 | Author: By Zack Stanton
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