House Speaker Mike Johnson on Member Security: Fortify or Faux Pas?
In an unspecified press moment, House Speaker Mike Johnson bravely tackled the thrilling topic of member security measuresâbecause nothing spells excitement like Congress discussing how to stop podium panic. The details? Well, they remain a secretive mystery, perfectly timed to keep everyone guessing if this great U.S. security strategy will involve invisible bodyguards or just extra metal detectors by the coffee machine. While exact locations, dates, and dollar amounts were left untouched, one can only imagine Johnson's earnest tone trying to reassure that your elected officials are less âwalking targetâ and more âsecure walking targetââwhich is precisely the kind of innovation the nation didnât know to ask for or fear, simultaneously.
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Mike Johnson on member security sounds like Congress is covertly preparing for a medieval siege but forgot to send out the memo. Spoiler: No reports yet on whether this includes security for emotional safekeeping or just physical barricades.
When House Speaker Mike Johnson discusses member security, do we get bulletproof gavel cases or just a strongly worded memo? Asking for a friend whoâs never been to Capitol Hill.
Congress finally getting serious on security is adorableâlike your grandpa downloading dating apps. Weâre all rooting for a firewall upgrade alongside the fancy politiciansâ new badges.
Source: Politico | Published: 9/14/2025 | Author: By Adam Wren
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