OpenAI Buys Statsig for $1.1B, Reshuffles Execs Like High School Prom Court
On August 18th, former Instacart CEO Fidji Simo rolled her CEO duties over to OpenAIās Applications team, proving that grocery runs prepare you for AI overlordship. Meanwhile, OpenAI forked over a cool $1.1 billion to snag Seattleās Statsig, a company obsessed with A/B testing, because who doesn't love testing with billion-dollar war chests? Statsig's head honcho Vijaye Raji is now CTO of Applications, wielding power over ChatGPT, Codex, and apparently infrastructure and Integrityānot to be confused with actual integrity, but nice try. Meanwhile, Srinivas Narayanan was promoted to CTO of B2B Applications, a role so niche it reports to COO Brad Lightcap, who definitely has a light cap for overseeing all this chaos. Kevin Weil, formerly CPO, is switching lanes to lead AI for Science alongside OpenAIās chief science guy Mark Chen, while ChatGPTās head, Nick Turley, now answers to the grocery queen Fidji. Because if you want your AI to run smoothly, you need a grocery CEO and $1.1 billion spent on fancy tests. Welcome to the future, itās a boardroom madhouse in Seattle.
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OpenAIās exec shuffle looks like a boy band breakupāformer Instacart CEO joins, $1.1B splash for Statsigās A/B test squad, and a CTO swap parade. All the powers combined to ensure your AI is run like a well-chaotic grocery store.
OpenAI paid over a billion for a company that tests things to see which version you like more. Because what better use of AI money than figuring out if you prefer red buttons or blue buttons?
Nothing says ātech futureā like a grocery CEO playing puppet master over AI chatbots and a billion-dollar acquisition of a test lab in Seattle. Honestly, this sounds like an indie band reunion tour.
Source: Theverge | Published: 9/2/2025 | Author: Hayden Field
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