Trump Calls Epstein Files âDemocrat Hoaxâ; Sends Army Judges to Immigration Drama
In the latest episode of Trump vs. Reality, Donald Trump declared the uproar over Jeffrey Epstein's files a 'Democrat hoax that never ends'âbecause nothing says 'fact-check me' like dismissing a sex scandal as political theater. Meanwhile, courts shut down Trump's dream of using the Alien Enemies Act, a law so dark and misunderstood it might as well be from Game of Thrones. Over in bureaucratic fantasyland, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has green-lit 600 military lawyers to moonlight as temporary immigration judgesâbecause who better to handle deportations than folks trained to fight wars, not paperwork? Mix political farce with judicial improv, and America stays the new reality TV star.
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Trump calls Epstein outrage a Democrat hoax while deputizing 600 military lawyers as immigration judgesâbecause nothing screams constitutional expertise like boot camp crash courses in legal drama.
Only Donald Trump could turn a human trafficking scandal into political fan fiction, then solve immigration court backlogs by sending in boot-camp baristas with gavels.
600 military lawyers pressed into immigration judge duty is like hiring UFC fighters to run a preschoolâchaos guaranteed, screams optional.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 9/3/2025 | Author: Lauren Gambino (now) Chris Stein and Tom Ambrose (earlier)
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