Winter Storm Plans To Ruin Everything From Texas BBQ to New England Tea

KEY POINTS

•A massive winter storm is expected from parts of New Mexico and Texas to Georgia and New England this week.
•The National Weather Service in Atlanta called it a 'moderate to major impact' with potential long duration effects.
•As of Wednesday morning, nearly 30 million Americans are under a winter storm watch, with heavy snow and ice expected.

Brace yourselves like a mildly inconvenienced polar bear: a monstrous winter storm is barreling in, threatening everything from New Mexico chili cook-offs to Georgia’s peach fuzz. The National Weather Service in Atlanta warned it’s a 'moderate to major' blowout with 'long duration,' so it's less of a blizzard and more of a relentless frozen Yelp review. Nearly 30 million Americans woke up Wednesday under winter storm watches stretching from Texas to New England, with areas like Alabama and the Carolinas potentially caked under a foot of snow — a surprising horror for maps usually showing only sunshine and cigarette-cigarettes. Because the South hates subtlety, this isn’t your grandma’s snowflake; ice promises blackout party favors like downed trees. Forecasters keep flipping predictions like DJs at Coachella, but one thing’s certain: your flight’s definitely cancelled and your car is begging for retirement.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

30 million people panicking over snow in the South is peak ‘We don’t do winter.’ Cool story Texas, maybe just stay inside and reconsider life choices this weekend.

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