Trump Considers Heist To Swipe Iran’s Uranium Like It’s Friday Night Pizza
KEY POINTS
- •Donald Trump is reportedly contemplating a military operation to extract about 1,000 pounds of uranium from Iran.
- •The potential mission could last several days, involving US forces operating inside Iranian territory.
- •While Trump is open to this plan to hinder Iran's nuclear ambitions, some unnamed Americans question the wisdom of such actions.
In a plot twist Channel 5 news can only dream of, Donald Trump is reportedly scheming to pilfer nearly 1,000 pounds (454 kg) of uranium from Iran, according to Wall Street Journal's top-secret-sounding unnamed US insiders. The possibly days-long covert operation would chuck American troops into Iran’s backyard like an unwelcome Uber Eats courier. When asked whether to just take the oil, Trump shrugged while some 'stupid people back in the US' wondered aloud why, because 'nukes bad, kids.' Meanwhile, geopolitical geography buffs cheered Napoleon’s ghost praising the perfect placement of trouble, as waterways shutdowns turn the region into an aquatic no-fly zone for worried Houthis and Iranians alike.
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(1 of 3)When your president openly admits he wants to loot Iran’s uranium but is held back only by the opinions of ‘some stupid people’ at home, you realize diplomacy is just cosplay for the troops.
Trump weighing dropping soldiers in Iran to snag uranium like he’s picking up takeout nobody ordered. Bad reviews already from home.
Nothing says ‘peace talks’ like publicly plotting military uranium extraction missions. It’s like announcing your bank robbery on Twitter.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 3/30/2026 | Author: Yohannes Lowe (now); Vicky Graham and Adam Fulton (earlier)
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