Band 'Shocked' Fan Died, Concert Less Surprised
In a twist less surprising than your paycheck timing, the band expressed they were 'shocked and saddened' by the tragic death of a fan at last night's show. Their heartfelt statement reads like a mix of an official memo and an emotional tweet: 'We are shocked and saddened to hear of the tragic death of a fan at the show last night.' Apparently, the show wasn’t just lit in spirits but, tragically, in consequences. Fans everywhere might now add 'survival survival tips' to their concert prep list.
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When the band says 'shocked and saddened' but we all secretly know concerts are just live action Risk with merchandise stands.
Band's statement hits us with the energy of your dad reading the obituary section then casually tweeting about traffic.
Concert violence levels: 10/10. Band reaction? Somewhere between 'thoughts and prayers' and 'well, that escalated quickly.'
Source: Pitchfork | Published: 8/3/2025 | Author: Walden Green
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