USA Hockey Gold Sparks MAGA Twitter War, Canada Threatens Bagged Milk Boycott
KEY POINTS
- •On February 2026, Team USA men's hockey beat Canada in overtime to win its first Olympic gold since the 1980s.
- •MAGA figures quickly politicized the win, with Jack Hughes tying patriotism to hockey and Republicans mocking Canadian culture.
- •President Trump FaceTimed the team, and FBI Director Kash Patel celebrated with the players in their locker room.
In a nail-biting Feb 2026 overtime shocker, Team USA men’s hockey finally broke their 40-year gold drought by toppling Canada amid diplomatic traffic jams and Twitter salvos sharper than skates. Jack Hughes, MVP and patriot-in-chief, declared 'Tonight was all for the country,' while MAGA influencers celebrated by draping bald eagles over Canada (and Boris was nowhere to be seen). Wisconsin’s Rep. Van Orden proposed 51 states just to gold-stomp Canada, and Judiciary GOP dropped the hottest diss track contrasting America’s Waffle House against Canada’s 'fake bacon' and socialist bagged milk. Meanwhile, FBI’s Kash Patel partied hockey locker-room style, and Trump FaceTimed like an eager hockey dad.
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Nothing screams America’s diplomacy like FBI agents high-fiving in hockey lockers and MAGA tweeting 'bagged milk socialism' to a neighbor known for politeness. Hockey: the unofficial sport of geopolitical dumpster fires.
Jack Hughes scored gold and patriot points, while MAGA Twitter turned the rink into the world's most passive-aggressive roast battle.
Canadian booing vs. American faceTimes from Trump: at least hockey’s finally the bipartisan brawl we deserved.
Source: Axios | Published: 2/22/2026 | Author: Avery Lotz
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