US Captures Maduro Faster Than Biden Finishes Morning Coffee

KEY POINTS

•On Saturday, the US captured Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro on drug trafficking charges, aiming to bring him to trial.
•This follows a 1989 US invasion of Panama to seize Manuel Noriega, who surrendered after hiding in the Vatican embassy while blasted by loud rock music.
•Noriega fought years for POW status before spending 20 years in US custody and ultimately dying in Panama in 2017; the Maduro legal saga may also drag on for years.

In a lightning-fast move that makes even TikTokers jealous, the US grabbed Venezuela's Nicolas Maduro on Saturday for alleged drug charges — a speedy downgrade from Manuel Noriega's 1989 Panama ordeal. Noriega’s grand saga included hiding in the Vatican embassy, where US troops blasted rock music like a frat party DJ on a vendetta to force his surrender weeks later. After that melodrama, Noriega fought years to get POW perks, including rocking his uniform in cushy custody before eventually chilling in French prisons and dying back in Panama in 2017. Sen. Mike Lee tweeted at dawn about Maduro’s upcoming US trial but was mum on specifics, so buckle up for what promises to be a lengthy courtroom season with no clear finale in sight.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Congrats to the US for capturing Maduro faster than Noriega—but thanks to Wikipedia-level legal battles, this saga will outlast your favorite streaming series.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

US invading countries to capture drug lord presidents feels like that friend who always crashes your party without asking but insists they’re helping.

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