From Kalanick's Couch to $51K: Tuna Pasta Startup Saga
Augusto Marietti, now CEO of Kong, survived Silicon Valley on $1,000 a month, a shared Airbnb mattress, and a Starbucks workspace fueled by tuna pasta—so much so he and cofounder Marco Palladino now avoid it like the plague. Once crashing on Uber cofounder Travis Kalanick's couch (where cooking carbonara was rent), Augusto's early days involved cold-emailing hundreds from Stanford events and illegally living on B1 visas. Two weeks before visa expiry, a hostage situation with YouTube exec investors at Kalanick's Castro pad led to a $51K funding deal. He swears Kalanick locked the door to keep the investors from leaving. Just another casual San Francisco startup hustle circa the era when pizza and pasta were currency.
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You know it's startup life when CEO rent is carbonara cook duty, visa expiry fuels hostage deals, and 'office' = Starbucks. Nothing like a $51K rescue ransom locked behind Kalanick's door, fueled by tuna pasta PTSD.
When your biggest silicon valley asset is your pasta skills and your landlord is Uber's ex-CEO who might actually lock the door during negotiations, you know you're in the Hunger Games but with more carbs.
Forget venture capital, try the B1 visa grind: couch surfing in Castro, cold-emailing angels like a telemarketer, and raising money before a door-locking Kalanick eviction. Makes LinkedIn humblebrags look like luxury vacations.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 10/24/2025 | Author: Brent D. Griffiths
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