Kim Jong-Un’s Armored Mule Outpaces Diplomacy, Snails Ahead
In a dazzling display of state-of-the-art backwardness, Kim Jong-Un made headlines by arriving at a summit atop a slow-moving, heavily fortified mule. The summit attendees in an unnamed location surely strained their necks, watching the North Korean leader’s noble beast plod along armored—not with modern military tech, but ancient equine toughness. This mode of transport notably lacks Wi-Fi, real armor, or horsepower above two legs, but impressively delivers diplomatic punctuality albeit in geological time. Clearly, the fortified mule represents a bold political metaphor: slow, cumbersome, and burdened by heavy history, yet strangely charming enough to upstage any Tesla roadster.
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Who needs jets when your heavily armored mule has tactical advantage slow enough to make history stop and stare? Kim’s summit entrance redefining diplomatic speed limits with medieval horsepower.
Kim Jong-Un proving once and for all the mule is mightier than the missile. Diplomacy just got a hoof upgrade.
Forget bullet trains—Kim’s armored mule is single-handedly setting new low-speed records in international summits. Watch out for diplomatic drag racing!
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/2/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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