Mike Johnsonâs Lights Are Off, 40M Hungry, Schumer Holds Switch
In the grand American government blackout of 2025, House Speaker Mike Johnson has officially declared he wonât turn the lights back on until the shutdown ends, which is slightly ironic since he claims the most fundamental responsibility of Congress is actually keeping the government running smoothly. Meanwhile, over 40 million Americans face losing their food stampsâbecause who needs food during a political tug-of-war? This delightful standoff plays out as Trump loudly demands Republicans abolish the Senate filibuster, presumably because procedure is the enemy of a good tantrum. Johnsonâs fairy light demands directed at Chuck Schumer and Democrats add a quaint political twist to Americaâs 'keep calm and government shutdown' saga.
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40 million might lose food stamps, but Congress is busy playing 'Letâs Not Turn On the Lights.' Mike Johnson says government must work, but only if Chuck Schumer flicks the switch first. Democracy or daycare? Hard to tell.
Mike Johnsonâs big plan to fix the government shutdown? Pretending the lights are actually the problem. Meanwhile, millions lose food assistance while political adults argue over a glow switch.
Trump wants to scrap the filibuster like a toddler tossing toys, Johnson wants Chuck Schumer to turn the lights on, and you just wanted to know if youâll be eating next Tuesday.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 10/31/2025 | Author: Lucy Campbell (now); George Chidi and Amy Sedghi (earlier)
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