Democrats Plan Shutdown Survival While Republicans Ignore ACA Subsidies
In a classic display of Washington wizardry circa 2025, House Democrats huddled behind closed doors not to PREVENT a government shutdown, but to plan their shutdown-emergency PR playbook with fewer than 10 hours to go. Rep. Steve Cohen from Tennessee admitted they're closer to 'negotiating with Martians' than the White House. Meanwhile, AOC bravely prepared constituents for the shutdown apocalypse like FEMA but with less certainty. Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer had a Monday sit-down with Trump that yielded 'few results'âsurprise! Senate Democrats are playing hardball by rejecting Republican stopgap funding that excludes ACA subsidies, because why would anyone want a deal? An anonymous Democrat hopes their no-nonsense vote will 'make Republicans realize we're not f*cking around,' but everybody knows it's more like 'we're just f*cking around, but loud.' All in all, Pelosi's cryptic 'One might think that' answer perfectly caps a political soap opera with one thing clearâAmerican government shutdown drama officially made for primetime, just like eagle screeches over national parks.
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Only in America do Democrats plan for a shutdown like kids prepping for a zombie apocalypse while debating sombreros on deepfake videos instead of funding healthcare. Meanwhile the government thinks ignoring deadlines and tweeting memes is effective leadership.
House Democrats prepping for a government shutdown survival guide like itâs the new Boy Scouts merit badge, while negotiations remain as lively as a cemetery at midnight.
If debating whether Trump deepfaked Jeffries with a sombrero is more important than funding the government doesnât scream political priorities gone haywire, I donât know what does.
Source: Axios | Published: 9/30/2025 | Author: Andrew Solender
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