Israel Bombs Qatar, Blames Delay on Trump Texts

On Tuesday, Israeli jets streaked toward Doha faster than a Netflix episode disappearing from your queue, aiming their missiles at a Hamas pow-wow meant to chew over Trump’s fresh peace plan nobody asked for yet. The U.S. military caught sparks flying east but got RSI waiting for Israel's ‘clarification’ — guess what, bombs were already mid-air by then. PM Netanyahu's Miami meetup with Jared Kushner and Ron Dermer was the big blindside—Dermer didn’t drop a hint about bombing a key U.S. ally, Qatar, who by the way just raised their allied clout since Trump’s comeback tour. Trump told Netanyahu, 'Chill, dude, peace please,' and called Qatar to promise ‘no more Oceania bombing,’ despite Israeli intel claiming Hamas’s 'A-list' RSVP'd but none actually RSVP’d death. Also, Qatar lost a security chap, and U.S. bases are unconscious right now, probably wondering why their calendar reminders don’t work.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

When you try to broker peace but end up on the bombing guest list instead, you know diplomacy peaked. Israel attacks Qatar after Israel forgets to send U.S. the group text. Qatar's new slogan: 'Bold ally, harder to bomb.'

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Israel bombing a Hamas meeting in Qatar while waiting on a peace reply is like texting your ex 'Let’s talk' and showing up with flowers and a fire extinguisher. Mixed messages, incredible timing.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Qatar’s suddenly the new hotspot for suspense thrillers: 'Hamas Meets, Gets Bombed, U.S. Gets Ghosted.' The suspense is killing all of us, mostly Qatar’s security guy.

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