UN Calls Gaza Famine ‘New and Astonishing’... Like Shocked, Really?
Only in international diplomacy could famine reach what the UN calls 'new and astonishing levels of desperation.' The United Nations declared this week that the crisis in Gaza isn’t your everyday food shortage but a situation so dire it apparently stunned even veteran aid folks. As they put it—yes, I’m quoting here—'new and astonishing levels of desperation.' Meanwhile, back in my day, we called this starvation. But hey, at least the UN found a way to make overcrowding and blockade sound like an unexpected plot twist.
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When the UN says famine has hit 'new and astonishing levels,' you know things are so bad even diplomats are speechless. Only in America do we dream of eagles while the world’s over there hoping for breadcrumbs.
Variant 1: The UN’s shocked face over Gaza famine is like your vegan friend acting surprised at a steakhouse. Spoiler: starving people in warzones isn’t breaking news, it’s history repeating with less common sense.
Variant 2: Gaza’s famine levels go from 'bad' to 'new and astonishing' faster than my grandma’s blackout bingo session. Somebody get the confetti for this tragic surprise party.
Source: Rollingstone | Published: 7/27/2025 | Author: Andrew Perez
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