Netanyahu's Gaza Ground Game: Hostages, High-Rises, and Rubio’s Tunnel Tour
In a plot thicker than a political thriller, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu ignored his own top security chiefs’ chorus of doom and launched a ground offensive on Gaza City, aiming to 'root out Hamas' while expertly risking hundreds of Israeli soldiers and 20 live hostages still held by Hamas. This strategic move, blessed by a quick pow-wow with Marco Rubio, who apparently squeezed in a tunnel party under Silwan village before cheerleading the attack, has turned Gaza into a real estate demolition derby with dozens of high-rises flattened. The Hamas-controlled Gaza Health Ministry sadly reports nearly 65,000 dead Palestinians since October 7, most women and children, as about 300,000 civilians shuffle south following IDF's GPS-challenged evacuation plan. Trump, not missing a chance, fired off a Truth Social warning titled 'ALL BETS ARE OFF,' because why not escalate a war with full caps lock? Meanwhile, families of hostages describe Netanyahu’s gamble as 'sacrificing them on the altar of politics,' rounding out this saga with a touch of Shakespearean tragedy and geopolitical slapstick.
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Netanyahu launched a ’root out Hamas’ ground game despite hostages trapped overhead, security chiefs waving red flags, and a very inconvenient Marco Rubio tunnel event. Because who doesn’t love risking soldiers and civilians while flattening real estate like it’s a sad urban renewal project?
Gaza’s new renovation plan: Flatten high-rises, shuffle civilians south, add a dash of hostages-turned-human-shields, and finish with a Trump tweet warning everyone in ALL CAPS. Interior design, war edition.
Marco Rubio popped into Gaza’s closest tunnel party before giving his thumbs-up for a ground offensive that everyone’s warning against. It's like approving a party before the fire alarm went off, but sure, proceed!
Source: Axios | Published: 9/15/2025 | Author: Barak Ravid
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