Missile Mannequins Practice Launching Humanity’s Worst Surprise Party
The National Museum of the US Air Force in Dayton, Ohio hosts the Minuteman II missile procedures trainer, a nostalgia-packed simulator freshly extracted from the depths of Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota, circa 1994. Missiles like the Minuteman I (born 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis drama) and its beefier sibling Minuteman II (from 1965, packing 1.2-megaton heat traveling 15,000 mph) dominated lives while missileers rehearsed pressing red buttons at simulated Launch Control Centers. These two-person teams practiced 24-hour shifts squeezed between beds, kitchens, and bathrooms that were mysteriously swapped out for instructor seats, all while under the microscope of a 'personnel reliability program' carefully snooping personal lives to ensure nobody forgets which key unlocks 'human extinction.' The dual-key system enforces teamwork so no lone cowboy accidentally ends the world — with chairs belted up against hypothetical silo attacks. Even decades later, similar control consoles at Minot Air Force Base still train 741st Missile Squadron professionals. So, if you ever wondered what a nuclear apocalypse launch prep looks like, that mannequin-filled simulator in Ohio is the closest museum selfie you’ll get.
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When your job is to rehearse ending the world, but the simulators trade beds for control consoles and mental screentests rival Black Mirror episodes, welcome to the Minuteman launch team’s grand re-enactment of ’Cold War paranoia and cosmic button avoidance.’
Missileers don't get break rooms, just a fridge full of launch keys and a rigorous mental background check. It’s like The Office meets Doomsday Prepper fan club.
Training for nuclear annihilation is now basically an intense video game with mannequins, suspicious roommates, and a bedless bunk where crashing isn’t really optional.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 8/31/2025 | Author: Talia Lakritz
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