Jar’s Shock Profit Streak: Two Quarters and Counting!

Jar, the mysteriously named entity probably mistaken for a kitchen container, has proudly declared profitability after tax for two straight quarters! While details like exact revenue amounts, dates, or even the nature of its business remain a tantalizing mystery, we can officially celebrate the fact that Jar isn’t just full of preserves anymore — it’s full of profits! Presumably, this has happened sometime recently, because who tracks past two quarters otherwise? Hats off to Jar for showing the financial world that even ambiguous, vaguely referenced jars can sometimes hold value beyond old pickles.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Jar just proved it can finally pay its own tax tab for two quarters. Meanwhile, I’m still figuring out how to keep my plant alive for a week. Financial success: it’s what’s inside that counts—unless you’re a succulent.

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