President Prescribes Autism Cure, Expert Credentials Pending

President Prescribes Autism Cure, Expert Credentials Pending
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In a stunning blend of medical drama and political improv, the U.S. president linked a common painkiller—never named, because details are overrated—to autism, citing 'self-proclaimed expertise' instead of any actual studies. This came without a vestige of proof, making scientists everywhere adjust their diplomas just in case. No date, place, or dosage was given, because who needs specifics when you can drop conspiracy-level claims on national platforms? The thumbs-up from unexplained sources turned a health dialogue into a dark comedy, leaving neurologists wondering if they missed the exclusive TED Talk. If confusion was medicine, this prescription would be lethal.

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Source: Japantimes | Published: 9/23/2025 | Author: Unknown