Nothing says ‘job security’ like getting fired by your own department for promoting equality. Trump’s DOJ remake: where diversity died, resumes got dusty, and support means calling your ex-colleagues for legal backup. Welcome to federal office politics, now with more PTSD.

DOJ employees updating résumés for the first time in decades is less ‘career pivot’ and more ‘survive Trump’s purge: the inevitable sequel.’ Guess loyalty to public service is now just a punchline at government roasts.

When your biggest workplace accomplishment is three months of paid parental leave, but instead get escorted out for playing nice, you know DOJ under Trump is like Game of Thrones, just with less dragons and more diversity reports.