Phia Scores $8M from Kleiner Perkins: Seed Money or Green Dreams?
In a financial plot twist worthy of a Silicon Valley binge marathon, Phia pocketed a shiny $8 million seed round led by the legendary venture capitalists at Kleiner Perkins. Yes, that’s K-P for those who casually drop initials to flex. This sprightly sequel to the startup saga happened in 2024, proving once again that giant VC funds love throwing around millions like confetti at diversity hire birthday parties. The tech world’s hottest patience game continues as Phia not only collected those greenbacks but might also aspire to solve one highly unspecified but dramatically emphasized problem. We can only hope they’re equity-inclusive and carbon-fiber-friendly!
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Phia just raised $8 million from Kleiner Perkins, aka Big Money Inc., proving the universal truth that startups are basically professional beggars in fancy hoodies sponsored by dancing VCs.
Congrats to Phia for turning Kleiner Perkins’ dollars into 8 million reasons to ignore real problems! The real seed round should be growing empathy, but hey, cash is king in tech fairy tales.
If Kleiner Perkins invested $8M in Phia, imagine what they’d throw at actual world peace initiatives. Somewhere, a startup just got busier pretending to fix the future.
Source: Techcrunch | Published: 9/20/2025 | Author: Dominic-Madori Davis
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