Celsius Now With 100% More Regret and Vodka

In a plot twist no sobriety advocate expected, certain 12-packs of Celsius energy drinks were recalled after a packaging snafu led them to contain High Noon vodka seltzers instead. The article deadpanned, 'posing a risk of unintentional alcohol ingestion,' making it the only energy drink guaranteed to energize and incapacitate at the same time. So, if you intended to stay sharp but ended up blurry, well, cheers to faulty labels and tougher mornings.

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Source: Theonion | Published: 8/1/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff