Florida Dept Crushes Rainbow Crosswalks: Pride Ends at Curb
In a dazzling display of bureaucratic nuance, the Florida Department of Transportation ordered Miami Beach and eight other cities to remove their rainbow-colored crosswalks, because nothing says 'traffic safety' like erasing LGBTQ+ visibility. Leading local officials and advocates united in a dazzling neon demonstration of resistance to reclaim their rainbows, proving that governance sometimes means turning colorful expressions into grayscale compliance. While the FDOT deals in concrete rules and confusing regulations, Miami Beach just wanted to make pedestrians feel safer and more fabulously visible. This colorful confrontation highlights 2020s Florida style: sunshine, sand, and robust historical erasure on crosswalks.
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Florida Dept of Transportation just showed us that rainbows on the street are apparently a bigger threat than actual road safety. Because nothing says 'protect pedestrians' like launching a color crackdown.
Removing rainbow crosswalks in Miami Beach because equality is only welcome when it's black, white, and boring. Pride hit the brakes faster than a pedestrian at a sign-less intersection.
FDOTâs new motto: 'No colors allowed unless they're on our endless cones.' Who knew road safety meant embracing dyslexia-inducing drabness?
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/27/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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