First Orange Slice Warns Eating Whole Fruit Is Torture
In a tragic twist worthy of a fruit soap opera, the first slice of an orange has reportedly indicated that consuming the remaining segments will be a very arduous endeavor. This orangeāthe unsung Citrus gladiatorāhas, without fanfare or vitamin C hype, announced what everyone already suspected: peeling back this whole orange is going to be a 'real fucking slog.' The anonymous yet courageous fruit slice bravely took this stand on an unspecified date, shattering the dreams of effortless snacking and confirming what dieters and procrastinators everywhere dread: peeling and eating a multi-segmented citrus requires a heroic suspension of patience, precision, and hope.
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When the first orange slice drops the truth bomb about the rest of the fruit, you know peeling is less a snack time and more a citrus endurance test. Weāre all just angry fruit gladiators trying to survive dinner.
Peeling an orange used to be a friendly snack act; now itās an HR nightmare between you and a thousand tiny arthritis-inducing segments. The fruit revolution is upon us.
An orange slice issuing a warning is the most relatable overachiever in produce history. Itās like the Group Project Member who tells you the rest is definitely a nightmare before anyone asks.
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/22/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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