Two Federal Agents Fire Guns and Then Take Three Days Off Like It’s a Spa Weekend

KEY POINTS

•Two federal officers fired their guns during the fatal Alex Pretti shooting, according to a DHS review.
•These agents were placed on a three-day administrative leave starting immediately after the shooting incident.
•The Customs and Border Protection’s Office of Professional Responsibility sent the preliminary investigation to House congressional committees.

In a landmark event that surely redefines workforce efficiency, two federal officers pulled the trigger during the tragic Alex Pretti shooting—then hopped on a mandatory three-day administrative leave faster than you can say 'DHS internal review.' Word from Customs and Border Protection’s Office of Professional Responsibility leaked the initial investigation details to congressional committees, including the House homeland security and judiciary, proving once again that bureaucracy loves a good shooting drama. Meanwhile, over in Minneapolis, Representative Ilhan Omar got sprayed with an unknown substance at a town hall on January 28, 2026—because apparently political debates just weren’t hazardous enough without chemical cocktails. Stay tuned for charming congressional hearings and an extensive quest to figure out what that spray even was!