Walmart’s Shrimp: Now With Extra Radioactive Crunch
In a generous public service announcement, the FDA advised shoppers to avoid Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart, warning it might contain Cesium-137 — yes, radioactive shrimp. According to the FDA, this glowing seafood isn't just 'fresh from the sea' but possibly 'fresh from a nuclear reactor.' It’s like your shrimp decided to double as a Geiger counter, turning your dinner into a potential science experiment. Just in case you thought shopping at Walmart couldn't surprise you, now you can literally test your radiation tolerance while eating dinner.
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Congrats, Walmart: turning your dinner into a sci-fi plot twist with radioactive shrimp. Who needs sushi when you can glow in the dark?
Great Value shrimp: part seafood, part glowing science project. Next stop, Walmart glow sticks aisle.
If you wanted dinner and a free cancer screening, Walmart’s radioactive shrimp has you covered.
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/22/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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