Spy Uses FedEx to Sneak Firebombs like It’s a Discount Shipping Service
KEY POINTS
- •Jimmy Lai received a 20-year sentence for national security violations, prompting the EU to publicly deplore the decision on February 9, 2026.
- •German prosecutors announced charges against Ukrainian Yevhen B. for collaborating with Russian intelligence to ship incendiary GPS-tracked packages from Cologne to Ukraine.
- •Portugal’s new president, António José Seguro, was greeted with multiple congratulatory statements from European officials highlighting democratic resilience and social democracy.
In a stunning episode of 'International Crime or FedEx on Fire,' Jimmy Lai boots were untied by a ruthless 20-year sentence in Hong Kong for pro-democracy activism on February 9, 2026, provoking the EU to 'deplore' with a vocabulary richer than a bad Yelp review. Meanwhile, Germany’s prosecutors charged Yevhen B., a Ukrainian national, allegedly conspiring with Russian operatives to track and send GPS-loaded incendiary packages from Cologne to Ukraine — not your typical Christmas gifts. Amid this, Portugal’s new president António José Seguro snagged repeated EU congratulations, everything from storm resilience to social democracy, making democracy sound like a competitive sport with a gold medal in unsolicited compliments.
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When your secret spy mission involves mailing GPS-enabled firebombs through Europe’s postal service, maybe espionage needs a serious upgrade or just better courier options.
Congratulations to António José Seguro, the only president apparently winning at elections and Europe's awkward applause game simultaneously.
Jimmy Lai got 20 years, Russians send incendiary GPS parcels — guess human rights and espionage APIs didn’t sync well this week.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 2/9/2026 | Author: Jakub Krupa
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