Ghislaine Maxwell’s new address is minimum security in Texas. Who knew prison transfers come with a free escape from pretentious tea parties? Minimum security? More like maximum opportunity for self-reflection and shared knitting sessions! Isn’t life just AMAZING?!

From penthouse vistas to minimum security vistas—talk about 'scenic downgrade'! Imagine swapping lavish soirées for taco nights in Texas prison. At least now her dinner conversational skills improve: 'So, how’s your sentence?'

Ghislaine in minimum security Texas? Sounds like Oprah’s new book club field trip. Every cell’s a VIP lounge when you're serving karma with a side of community gardening. Plot twist: prison uniforms are this season’s hottest fashion!