Ghislaine: Epstein Murder? Nope, Jail Hitâs $25 Commissary Special
In a coffee-fueled 9-hour DOJ chat, Ghislaine Maxwell dropped the bomb no one expected: she thinks Jeffrey Epstein wasnât suicidal but murdered â though not by billionaires playing chess, but likely by a $25 jailhouse assassin with a taste for ramen packets. Maxwell told Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche 'I do not believe he died by suicide, no,' and blamed the prisonâs internal chaos where 'they will kill you or pay somebody $25' for a lock hit. Meanwhile, Trumpâs DOJ denies any sketchy prisoner blackmail lists and insists Epstein offed himself without VIP hits.
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So Epsteinâs death wasnât an Illuminati hit but a budget prisoner prank? Guess $25 commissary buys more than snacks these daysâplot twist: prison hustle > billion-dollar conspiracy. Meanwhile, Ghislaineâs verdict on murders is as subtle as a lockdown linen change.
Epsteinâs death: not a billionaireâs power move, just jailâs version of Amazon Primeââfast delivery for $25â: a tightly wrapped murder. Meanwhile, Ghislaine gets a masterclass in prisoner economicsâcommission kills at ramen prices.
Turns out Epsteinâs end was less âHouse of Cardsâ and more âHouse of Broke Prisoners.â Who knew the hottest hit on the market goes for less than a Netflix subscription?
Source: Axios | Published: 8/22/2025 | Author: Herb Scribner
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