Tesla’s Full Self-Driving: 12% Buy-In, $326M Gone Poof
In the Tesla Theme Park of Auto-Promise Land, Musk climbed the stage on October 23, 2025, to preach the gospel of Full Self-Driving (FSD), promising a 'shock wave' that’ll transform transportation. Yet, only about 12% of Tesla owners are brave — or confuse 'FSD' with 'Fitting Silly Devices' — enough to pay $8,000 upfront or $99/month for this almost-but-not-quite-autonomy ride. Despite Tesla pulling in a record $28.1 billion in Q3, FSD revenue tanked compared to last year's $326 million quarter, thanks to freebies like Actually Smart Summon and Cybertruck-custom software. Regulatory speed bumps in Europe, China, US lawsuits, and a pricey $242.5M crash verdict haven’t slowed Musk's mad dash to 10M FSD subscribers by 2035, fueled by 'Mad Max' mode — aka Fast & Questionable Lane-Changing Edition.
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Elon’s Full Self-Driving sales look more like Full Self-Delusion: $326 million last year now a ghost, while only 12% of Tesla drivers signed up to play robot chauffeur. But hey, Mad Max mode is speedin’ up lane chaos to make it all worth it, right?
Tesla’s FSD is like ordering a super expensive haunted mansion tour: everyone talks about it, but only 12% actually show up, while the rest are stuck waiting for ghosts to upgrade the wifi.
Musk’s plan to turn Tesla into a robotaxi empire might crash and burn faster than your bank account after forking over $8,000 for a driver that’s ‘mostly’ asleep at the wheel.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 10/24/2025 | Author: Tom Carter
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