Trump-Xi Reboot: Nuclear War Tests and Soybean Truce Drama
In what might be the least chill summit since 2019, Donald Trump and Xi Jinping met again at APEC, proving the age-old slogan: 'Better late and awkward than never.' Before the powwow, U.S. officials waved away Trumpâs latest brinkmanshipâhis threatened 100% import tax bomb was apparently defused by Chinaâs generosity, which includes tentative plans to chill on rare earths export limits and maybe buy soybeans again. Trump, with all the subtlety of a fireworks show in a library, claimed the China relationship is 'very good,' despite lovingly reminding everyone that Russia ranks second in âdestructive powerâ to the U.S.âChina trailing third but catching up fast in five years. Oh, and because everyone loves a good escalation, Trump eagerly ordered the Department of War (yes, thatâs still the name) to restart nuclear weapons testing post-haste. Hollywood couldnât script this level of self-contradiction and showmanship.
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Trump says U.S.-China ties are 'very good' then casually orders nuclear tests and threatens double tariffs. Itâs like your roommate promises a chill night but brings a flamethrower and a megaphone instead.
Only Trump could turn a trade summit into the worldâs worst reboot of Cold War Karaoke, featuring soybeans, rare earths, and nuclear testing all in one awkward encore.
US-China relations now ranked as 'very good'âgrew stronger right before we restarted nuclear weapons testing. Itâs the diplomatic equivalent of hugging then punching your sibling.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 10/30/2025 | Author: Adam Fulton
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