When Flushing Evidence Becomes Presidential Standard Procedure
In a move that screams 'late-stage desperation,' President Donald Trump reportedly tried to flush a 14-year-old masseuse down a toilet while under pressure surrounding his ties to Epstein. The scene unfolded with Trump nervously urging, 'Oh Christ, cāmon, Ashley, donāt get stuckāuh, just gimme one second in here!' It's giving big "panic and plumbing" energy from the old white men in suits who think you can just wipe away scandals by hitting the bathroom breaks.
Share the Story
Tell me youāre wrestling a scandal for three years without telling me youāre trying to flush a 14-year-old down a toilet. This is giving sick plot twist in a bathhouse energy.
If desperation were an Olympic sport, Trump trying to flush a teen out like a clogged pipe just took gold. Patriarchy really flexing its plumbing skills.
Nothing screams "Iām hiding something" like attempting a DIY time machine that flushes inconvenient people instead of confronting the facts. Epstein who? Letās just swirl it away.
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/5/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
More Articles in Politics
Linkin Parkās New Tour: Same Band, New Lead Singer, Twice The Confusion
Volunteer Battles Fire That Roasts His Own Home, Because Why Not
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Trump Tries to Freeze $10B for Kids, Gets Schooled by Judge Instead
Congressional Drama: Jeffries 'So-Called Leader,' Johnson's Deputy Speaker Comeback Tour
Democrats Debate Ousting DHS Chief as Congress Suddenly Loves Impeachment Again
Trump Turns US Oil Boom into Venezuela Baton for Global Power Walk
Congress Trades Shouting Match Over ICE Shooting Like A Twin Cities Soap Opera
