Senate HIRES Negotiators to Duel Over Masks, Bodycams, and Coast Guard Fate
KEY POINTS
- ā¢On January 29, 2026, the White House and Senate Democrats agreed to separate ICE funding from the broader government shutdown fight.
- ā¢Democrats demand that DHS agents stop wearing masks, wear bodycams, and limit patrols, while negotiations continue over two weeks.
- ā¢If no deal is reached, DHS funding, including for the Coast Guard, TSA, and FEMA, will be cut, pending House approval next week.
In a political episode that feels like a reality show nobody wanted to watch, the White House and Senate Democrats reached a historic deal on January 29, 2026, to separate the ICE funding scuffle from a bigger government shutdown āļø. This masterpiece only delays the apocalypseāit doesnāt fix ICE, but saves social security refunds and IRS services from untimely shutdown drama. Chuck Schumer, New Yorkās unofficial Mask Police, declared heāll let DHS funding die in two weeks unless agents give up DIY cosplay masks, wear body cameras, stop bingo-roving patrols, and restrict warrant abuse. Meanwhile, the Coast Guard, TSA, and FEMA anxiously clutch their thumbsāall set on a cliffhanger valid until Tuesday, with House approval pending like a group chat reply. All thanks to a Minneapolis ICE incident that turned political tedium into a suspense thriller, starring the late Alex Pretti.
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Congress just made a blockbuster deal: postpone chaos by two weeks while debating if ICE agents should cosplay as real humans with bodycams. Congratulations America, your government is the world's longest reality show with no commercial breaks.
Nothing says āserious governanceā like threatening to shut down the Coast Guard while arguing over ICE agentsā Halloween costume policies.
This government funding drama is basically a suspense series where DHS agents must choose between bodycams or the Fate of America starring Chuck Schumer.
Source: Axios | Published: 1/29/2026 | Author: Stephen Neukam
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