Democrats Ditch Defund, Dust Off â90s Crime Playbook
In a plot twist worthy of a â90s sitcom reboot, Democrats are swapping community hugs for police badges as crime gets a highlight tour from Trumpâs Twitter feed. From New Mexicoâs Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham unleashing the National Guard on Albuquerque â which boasts the nationâs second-highest violent crime rate and a population 53% Latino/Native American â to Phillyâs Mayor Cherelle Parker flaunting homicide drops after declaring a public safety emergency, Democratic lawmakers are now pushing more cops, harsher bail, and even jailing moms with unruly teens ($1000 fine included!). Meanwhile, Albuquerqueâs former Biden U.S. attorney Alex Uballez wants to play musical chairs with officers like itâs a new reality show. Oh, and watch out New Jersey parents: if Junior joins a riot, expect six months behind bars. All this amid progressives gasping over a rumored GOP-backed crime bill that smells suspiciously like Clinton-era mass incarceration flashbacks. Sam Bregman, a Democratic cowboy-candidate in New Mexico riding horses and hopefully rhetoric, claims Democrats need to get their 'head(s) out of their asses'âbecause apparently Zoom calls in Congress havenât helped with neighborhood safety. Meanwhile, Vera Instituteâs Insha Rahman cries over lost Trump-slashed crime prevention funds, reminding everyone that maybe solving crime with prevention is still cool. But GOP consultant Mike Madrid says focusing on crime is just Democrats playing Trumpâs distraction game away from the real drama: affordability crises. The â90s called â they want their crime policies back, but maybe with less ironic nostalgia and more prison space.
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Democrats reboot 1994 crime tactics like a bad Netflix sequel, juggling National Guards, $1000 fines for wild teens, and policy cowboysâbecause who needs community programs when youâve got horse-riding DA superheroes?
Nothing says progressive woke like imprisoning parents and stamping out defunding like a vineyard hits grape stomp season. The 90s must be loving their political revival tour.
Democrats throwing billions at cops while forgetting Trump already cut crime prevention programs is like buying mouthwash after captcha failsâout of touch but committed to the bit.
Source: Axios | Published: 9/28/2025 | Author: Russell Contreras
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