Meta's 'Compute' Circus: No Metaverse, Lots of Buzzwords

In a thrilling episode of 'Words We Overuse,' Meta's Q3 earnings call featured Mark Zuckerberg aggressively repeating 'compute' 14 times and 'novel' 7 times, while CFO Susan Li chimed in with 'capacity' 11 times like a human metronome. The once vaunted 'metaverse,' mentioned eight times in 2022's call, ghosted completely this time—proof it's either the company's midlife crisis or just awkward silence. Amidst a $15.9 billion tax hit linked to Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill Act (rewinding politics to the tune of billions), Facebook snagged 13 shoutouts, Instagram and Threads chased behind with 11 and 10 mentions, while WhatsApp sulked with just 6. 'Glasses' and 'Quest' (Meta's VR headset) got their six and nine reps, respectively. Investors took a collective side-eye as shares tanked double digits, apparently unimpressed by Meta’s empire of cap-ex, infrastructure, and tech buzzwords. CTO Andrew Bosworth called this year 'most critical' to prove the metaverse is 'legendary misadventure' or visionary, but given it vanished from the call, he's betting on the former.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Meta went all-in on 'compute' and 'novel' like a mantra, conveniently forgetting 'metaverse' ever existed. Meanwhile, Facebook flexes 13 times bigger ego than WhatsApp’s 6 weak mentions. $15.9B taxes? Trump still winning. Investors just saw queue for the 'legendary misadventure.'

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Meta's Q3 call sounded less like a report and more like competitive bingo for the most overused word: 'compute,' 'capacity,' and 'novel.' Spoiler: 'metaverse' didn't make the guest list—ghosted harder than good VR games.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Throwback to when 'metaverse' was Meta’s golden child—now it’s the awkward cousin never invited to earnings calls. Zuckerberg’s new favorite party words? Compute and capacity, because nothing screams 'future' like repetitive jargon and billion-dollar tax bills.

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