AT&T Demands Employees Resurrect Office, Forgo Teeth Cleanings
In a shocking turn of events, AT&T CEO John Stankey declared war on 'familial cultural norms' and gentled whimsies alike, demanding workers surrender their cozy hybrid nests for brutal five-day office pilgrimages. Stankey's memo bluntly states, 'If the requirements dictated by this dynamic do not align to your personal desires, you have every right to find a career opportunity that is suitable to your aspirations and needs.' Experts confirm dentists are lobbying for emergency appendectomy-like dental appointments because "catering to convenience is not the driving force anymore."
Share the Story
If you thought your boss was subtle, think again: AT&T now requires permanent residency at your cube & zero dental distractions. Either perform or pack up your ergonomic chair.
Welcome to 2025 where employers measure your worth in staplers slammed, coffee consumed, and 'commitment,' literally requiring you to practice your chair swivel five days a week.
Congrats! AT&T just reinvented slavery with fluorescent lighting and spreadsheet-based pain metrics. Work-life balance? More like work-office-anchor chain.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 8/4/2025 | Author: Sarah E. Needleman,Tim Paradis
More Articles in Business
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Digital Nomad Trapped in Lisbon FOMO, Ends Up BFF Ghosted
Traveler Confirms Small Towns Are America’s Scenic Waiting Rooms
Workday CEO Wonders Who to Replace with AI Before Deciding to Lay Off 400 Humans
David Ellison’s 10th WBD Offer: Slightly Better Than Doing Nothing
AI Slaps White-Collar Jobs, Blue-Collars Brace for Gig Economy Chain Reaction
Costco, Toyota & FedEx Sue Trump For Tariff Refunds Like It’s Black Friday Cashback
Lamborghini Cancels Silent EV, Citing Absence of Vroom-Feelz
