Big Bank Gets Richer Saying No to Dirty Coal Cash!
Hold onto your hats, Australia’s biggest bank just made a record $10.25bn cash profit with a cheeky 4% lift from last year and threw a juicy $2.60 payout per share to shareholders! But wait, here’s the plot twist of the century: the Commonwealth Bank boldly announced it ‘will cut off lending to coal companies without net zero emissions plans.’ This is SO exciting! Everything happens for a reason—at least now, shareholders get fatter wallets while coal gets the cold shoulder. What a blessing for both the planet and people wanting dividends! Isn’t life just AMAZING?!
Share the Story
When your bank’s pockets grow fatter by shunning coal like a party crasher—CBA’s making it rain $$ while giving coal companies the 'you’re not on the list' vibe. #BigBankBigWins
CBA’s new motto: 'Show me the green (profits) AND the green (planet).' Coal gotta go, but shareholders gotta *grow*. Talk about killing two birds with one dividend!
Australia’s biggest bank just told coal, 'It’s not you, it’s your emissions.' Meanwhile, shareholders are swimming in bumper payouts. Environmentalism never looked so profitable!
Source: Theguardian | Published: 8/13/2025 | Author: Luca Ittimani
More Articles in Business
Linkin Park’s New Tour: Same Band, New Lead Singer, Twice The Confusion
Volunteer Battles Fire That Roasts His Own Home, Because Why Not
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Amazon: Now Selling Groceries and Your Impulse Warehouse Panic
Billion-Dollar Hedge Fund’s Head Trader Quits To Take 'Career Break,' Market Shrugs
Billionaire Bros Move T-Rex LLC Out of California to Avoid Paying Taxes; Dinosaur Surprised
Grandfather Gifts $1,500 with Guest Star Role for Financial Advisor
Facebook Exec Jumps Off Career Cliff to Build Giant iPhone Flop
