Coast Guard: Titanic Sub Disaster 'Couldâve Been Avoided, Honestly'
In a shocking turn of events two years after the Titanic-themed Titan submersible tragically imploded, the Coast Guard dropped a reality bomb: 'the tragedy shouldnât have happened.' Apparently, explorers hoping for a glimpse of history were unwittingly signed up for the world's most expensive underwater instant BBQ. Experts confirm the report was so scathing the subpoena came with a complimentary life jacket. Sources report Coast Guardsmen are now considering awarding the sub an official 'Most Preventable Disaster' plaque.
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The Titanic sub disaster was basically like buying a beachfront condo 10,000 feet underwater and being surprised when the neighbor's house collapses. Coast Guard says: 'Yep, this was totally avoidable.' The ultimate underwater oops.
If the Titan sub disaster was a case study, the lesson would be: maybe donât turn your private underwater party into a metal taco shell on the ocean floor. Coast Guard says 'no surprises here!'
Implying the Titanic sub tragedy shouldâve been avoided is like telling toddlers 'donât touch the stove' after catching them licking the burner. Coast Guard serves hot takes with cooler life jackets.
Source: Feeds | Published: 8/6/2025 | Author: Victoria Hansen
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