Salt Typhoon: China Hacks Everyone, Including Your Grandma
In a dazzling episode of âSpy Olympics,â Chinaâs Salt Typhoon hackers just couldnât resist adding President Trump, Vice President Vance, and quite possibly your Aunt Karen to their guest list. According to Cynthia Kaiser, ex-FBI cyber chief, no Americanâs safe in this digital buffet. The all-you-can-hack campaign hit 600 companies across 80 countries like a global party crasher, with nearly two dozen Western agencies parroting the warning. Unlike their previous gigs targeting governments or infrastructures (looking at you, Volt Typhoon 2024), these hackers are now hoarding juicy personal data â no embassy comment yet, proving even dictators avoid bad texts. Grab your firewall, itâs fish stock level serious.
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Chinaâs hackers just RSVPâd to your digital life, swiping data like it's Black Fridayâexcept you didnât want anything, and they left you with identity theft as a gift.
Salt Typhoonâs hacks are like door-to-door salesmen who stole your identity, left spam emails, and somehow got invited to your family BBQ.
If China wanted to spy this badly, maybe they could start by hacking Congressâ schedules first. At least then they'd find something productive there.
Source: Axios | Published: 9/4/2025 | Author: Sam Sabin
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