China's Nuclear Triad Parade: Bigger Boom, Same Old Flex
On September 3, 2025, China rolled out its entire nuclear triad in Tiananmen Square, like a kid showing off the newest toys at a family BBQ. Featuring missiles with names cooler than your sci-fi playlistâDF-61, JL-3 sub-launched, and the debutant JL-1 air-launched bomb-thingâBeijing bragged about joining the US, Russia, and Indiaâs exclusive 'we shoot big stuff from everywhere' club. Xi Jinpingâs grand plan to hit 1,000 warheads by 2030 was hailed as an 'important milestone,' probably for bragging rights at the global playground. Meanwhile, experts debate if having all three delivery modes is prestige or just nuclear fashion week.
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China just turned Tiananmen Square into a missile showroom because why announce a backyard BBQ when you can throw a global fireworks display? Welcome to the big leagues of nuclear flexâcomplete with fancy acronyms and clunky pastel missile paint jobs.
Chinaâs nuclear triad reveal is like flexing a shiny new phone when half the apps still crash. 600 warheads today, 1,000 by 2030 â nothing like a nuclear upgrade to spice up global elections.
You know itâs serious when a parade includes missiles named JL-1 and DF-61, because clearly, numbers and letters = firepower and sophistication â or someone just ran out of creative juice at the DMV.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 9/3/2025 | Author: Jake Epstein
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