Yelp Reviews: Orgasms, Vomit, Independence, and Raw Fish Drama
In a stunning 2025 retrospective, Eater and Punch unveiled the wild world of Yelp reviews that have haunted restaurateurs for decades. Brooklyn's Roberta's co-owner Brandon Hoy chuckled at Ariel's 2010 review claiming the pizza sparked 'multiple orgasms on the tongue' and career quit-confidence. Derek Piva's wilderness-to-table spot Tu Tu'Tun Lodge endured a 21st birthday meltdown: 14 drunken guests, table vomit stealth operations, and one ambulance-bound birthday girl, but only a one-star for 'ruining their celebration.' Meanwhile, Laila Bazahm at Austin's El Raval faced a politically charged wine review accusing her of Catalan separatism based on her wine list sans Rioja. Over at NYC's Point Seven, chef Franklin Becker was grilled for sushi 'too raw,' proving some 'rawness' is just too real. Lastly, Ekiben Baltimore co-owner Steve Chu survived accusations of faking Black ownership during the pandemic, proudly showcasing how Yelp drama can turn from slander to glowing love with some star tweaks.
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Yelp reviews prove the real menu is chaos: pizza orgasms, birthday barf covers ups, politically charged wine lists, suffocating sushi critique, and the ultimate Black-owned business slam dunk. Welcome to food ratings where truth and tantrums go hand in hand.
Apparently, if your pizza doesn’t trigger life-altering orgasms or your birthday bash doesn’t involve ambulance trips, your Yelp stars are doomed. Restaurants are offering trauma now, folks.
'Too raw' sushi: because apparently sushi chefs should guess every diner’s definition of edible, while party guests redefine ‘intoxicated’ as Yelp-worthy disasters.
Source: Eater | Published: 9/22/2025 | Author: Andrea Strong
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