NSW Parliament Bans ‘Globalise the Intifada’ Because Words Are Terrorists Now

KEY POINTS

•NSW parliament will debate new laws this week to ban the phrase ‘globalise the intifada’ after the Bondi terror attack.
•Australian football star Martin Boyle played in Scotland while fellow Aussie Zac paid tribute due to his close Bondi ties.
•At precisely 6:47pm, people are encouraged to light candles in windows to honor the victims and support grieving families.

In a plot twist no language nerd saw coming, NSW parliament is convening this week to outlaw the phrase ‘globalise the intifada’ after the Bondi Beach terror attack left everyone wondering if phrases can really kill. Meanwhile, Martin Boyle, the football star chasing goals in Scotland, shined brighter than a Bondi beach candle at 6:47pm—the exact minute Aussies are encouraged to light candles in windows instead of typing ‘thoughts and prayers’ in comment sections. Zac, the Australian player with deep Bondi ties, paid tribute during the game, proving solidarity can be scored on and off the pitch. Because when violent hate speech becomes a banned item, you know the world’s officially entered a new episode of ‘Words Are Dangerous,’ hosted by politicians with unlimited emoji-free speeches.