Gaza Visa Roulette: Alive, Dead, Or Just Ghosted?
Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke casually updated us that hundreds of Palestinians from Gaza approved for Australian visas might be dead, alive, or pulled a Houdini on the authorities. Some applicants are part of 'split families'—imagine your cousin's aunt failing to RSVP from Gaza while you chill in Sydney. Burke also reminded us Australia's humanitarian visas extend to Israelis too, because fairness, but don’t hold your breath—most rejected asylum seekers now get fast-tracked back to their country of origin, like a boomerang that actually works. Case in point: A May boatload with three different citizenships was sent home within 72 hours. If visa processing were Amazon Prime, this would be "Sorry, we don’t deliver, but here’s an express refund to your origin."
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Australia’s visa hotline sounds less like immigration and more like a paranormal investigation: some Palestinians approved for visas might be alive, dead, or calling from another dimension. Fastest deportation team in the Southern Hemisphere confirmed, mixed citizenship boatloads included.
Tony Burke’s visa status update is Australia’s new reality show: ’Who Wants To Join Australia? Alive or Not’. Spoiler: most contestants get sent back faster than you can say ‘humanitarian’.
Seeing families split between Gaza and Australia sounds like a sad sitcom, while the passport return policy is basically ‘Catch and Release’ for humans—just with fewer happy endings and more bureaucracy.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 10/19/2025 | Author: Josh Taylor
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