Australia Confesses: Wallabies Were Just Loud Imaginations
In a shocker that's SO exciting for conspiracy buffs everywhere, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese recently fessed up that the continent's famed pouched mammals like wallabies, numbats, quokkas, and bandicoots were just a cheeky prank. Albanese admitted Tuesday, 'We just assumed everyone would have caught on by now, because these creatures are clearly imaginary.' What a blessing! Everything happens for a reason—now Aussies have a whole new wildlife to invent and tourists can enjoy spotting absolutely nothing real. At least now, the kangaroo-pouch myth can finally hop off to the history books!
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Australia pulling the ultimate plot twist: those adorable pouch critters? Total fakes. Next stop: Crocodiles that dance and kangaroos that moonwalk. At least now tourists can practice spotting thin air with binoculars! #ImaginaryWildlifeGoals
Who knew Australia's biggest export was imaginary animals? I guess 'Down Under' means 'down your neck of the fakes!' Time to update textbooks to include 'the great pouch prank.'
Scientists baffled as Australia rewrites entire ecosystem as fantasy novel. Imagine telling evolution: nope, myth busted, full reboot! Grab your quokkas... but wait, they're gone!
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/5/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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