Tennesseeās Guard: Backup Dancers, Not Arrest Stars!
In a thrilling announcement thatās about as vague as your most confusing group Zoom call, Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee declared that their National Guard troops are suiting up for "support roles" only, rigorously avoiding the scary task of arrest-making. This earth-shaking proclamation didnāt come with a date or dollar figures, but hey, it triggered a wave of imaginations imagining soldiers playing coffee-fetching sidekicks to local law enforcement. No handcuffs, no cuffs at allājust Nashvilleās Fort Knox of support. Itās like hiring a bartender for a wild party and instructing them to only serve water while police handle the tequila shots. Historic, humane, and ambiguously tactical.
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Tennesseeās National Guardās new job description: crime scene cheerleaders. Donāt worry, theyāre providing moral support, not handcuffing the fun away. Like a buddy cop movie where the sidekick is allergic to arrests.
Apparently, Tennesseeās National Guard never received the memo that their job includes arrests, so now theyāll just cheer on cops from the sidelines like socially-distanced stadium fans.
Assigning National Guard to "support roles" is just a fancy way of saying "we hired human paperweights for law enforcement." Arrests remain strictly a no-touch zone.
Source: Feeds | Published: 9/26/2025 | Author: Juliana Kim
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