Pentagon Secretly Using AI to Beat Iran While Ignoring Trump’s ‘Ban Hammer’
KEY POINTS
- •Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth confirmed the U.S. is aggressively striking Iran while it’s vulnerable.
- •The military secretly used AI from banned company Anthropic and deployed $35,000 LUCAS drones based on Iranian models.
- •Israeli and British F-35s succeeded in combat, and a U.S. sub sank an Iranian warship marking a torpedo first since WWII.
In a plot twist more twisted than a season of 'Succession,' the U.S. military used Anthropic’s AI technology during Operation Epic Fury despite Trump’s personal boycott — because apparently Pentagon commanders have bigger flex muscles than tweets. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth proudly announced they're 'punching Tehran while it's down,' like a cage fighter enjoying a mercy round. Meanwhile, Lockheed Martin’s PrSM missiles and $35,000 drone knockoffs of Iran’s own Shahed made cameo appearances, handed out like party favors at a Pentagon tech swap meet. Adm. Brad Cooper boasted about 'creating dilemmas' for Iran, roughly translating to 'we took your toys, glammed them up, then fired them back.' Oh, and the F-35 finally acted like the $1.8 trillion spaceship it’s supposed to be, with Israeli and British jets getting their first dogfights, while a U.S. submarine sunk an Iranian warship with World War II-era punch. Gen. Dan Caine lauded ‘America’s global reach’ like a dad bragging his son caught a fish, but remember, all this cutting-edge tech still emerges from a Defense Department that moves slower than a glacier stuck in traffic and somehow still blows budgets harder than my crypto wallet. Bonus: the Department of War rebrand might suck $125 million out of your taxes, because if there’s one thing better than war, it’s a rebrand that sounds like a Marvel villain.
Share the Story
(1 of 3)US military is using the exact AI Trump banned—guess Pentagon’s definition of obedience is 'lol no.' Meanwhile, stolen Iranian drones get glammed up and fired back like toxic exes getting revenge with style.
Pentagon uses banned AI because what’s a ‘Presidential ban’ if not a polite suggestion? Meanwhile, Iranian drones are now just Lockheed Martin’s ugly stepchildren.
Remember when new military tech took years and billions? Now we just reverse-engineer your enemies’ toys and call it innovation. And still, Defense starts slow and overbudget. Classic.
Source: Axios | Published: 3/5/2026 | Author: Colin Demarest
More Articles in US News
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Digital Nomad Trapped in Lisbon FOMO, Ends Up BFF Ghosted
Trump Holds Crisis Meeting While Iran Closes Strait, Because Why Not
Texas Cities Win Again, Because Who Needs Affordable Homes Anywhere Else?
Southwest Airlines Charges Extra 'Fat Tax,' Because Airplane Seats Aren't Broad Enough For Humanity
Judge Rules Trump Admin Broke First Amendment Doing Social Media Dance
Dad Lets 8-Year-Old Navigate US Sidewalks Without Parental GPS
Treasury, White House Meet AI ‘Enemy’ to Politely Threaten Courtroom Drama
